My Dating Life…

Posted: February 18, 2016 in Uncategorized

…wait, what? I have a dating life? 🙂 Keep reading.

So, here I am about to turn 30! Wow! It’s been 30 years of learning, growing, hurting, smiling, laughing, crying, confusion, clarity, and overall joy. One thing I have not really experienced yet though is dating. Yes, you read that right. I’m fixing to be thirty and I’ve never been asked on an actual date. I’ve never had a steady boyfriend. I didn’t experience that whole awkward he better come to the door, meet the parents, walk to car, open door, and be home at a certain time phase as a teenager. Or those late night panicking phone calls from a boyfriend  upset because he failed a college final and his life is over cause he is never going to have the career he wants.  And, yes, it really is true that I’m fixing to turn 30. 🙂 Now, can you imagine how much dating/relationship/marriage advice I have gotten as a 30 year old single female with no children?!? Some of it was good, some of it was depressing, and some of it just makes me laugh out loud, trying not to hurt the other persons feelings laughing out loud. And some of it…well I’m going to share.

  1. Change my personality – I’m sorry but I shouldn’t have to change who I am to make someone else like me. I wouldn’t be able to keep the facade up forever. When the facade was over, he would be with someone who isn’t true. That’s not fair to him.  Is this even possible any way?
  2. Stop being so weird – okay? See above. Now, I know that my sense of humor is dry and sarcastic. It’s not for everyone. But out of the billions of people on the earth, there has to be at least one person that gets it. Right?
  3. Have a kid, they attract men – I didn’t and still don’t even know how to respond to this. This was one of those laugh out loud, trying not to hurt the other persons feelings laughing.
  4. Talk more – see number one. For real though, yes I’m shy when I first meet people. I won’t talk that much. But I’m not going to completely ignore you and act like you don’t exist. (I’m not 16 anymore.) I hate small talk and I’m terrible at it. You start a conversation about the universe and what our purpose is, you won’t be able to shut me up.
  5. Stopping looking for him – How do you look for something you never had? Oh wait, we do this constantly, with everything. We all long for things we don’t have. If you give the dream up, what’s left?
  6. Your standards are too high – This may be true but I’m not changing them. I am worth far more than just a fling. I am stuck in a generation where it is okay to throw things away for no reason, where relationships are built on text messaging, and chivalry means he compliments you on your facebook wall. I guess I’m a dinosaur but I expect a man to fight for a relationship when things get tough not just throw it away at the first chance, to actually talk to me face to face, and to be a gentleman everywhere. This works both ways though. Men should be respected, they’re not punching bags, and they are not work horses for every little need around the house.
  7. You shouldn’t date to find someone to marry – Why else would I be dating him? See above to the dinosaur comment.
  8. You’re just not “ready” – I’m nearly 30!! This was one of those depressing pieces of advice. If I’m not “ready” by 30, when will I be? What does this mean anyway? Not ready for what exactly?
  9. Grow closer to God and he will give you someone – I have a love/hate relationship with this phrase. While I totally agree with this, I struggle with it. Being single is a chance to focus on your relationship with the Lord. A chance to learn to love your self and learn what your self worth is. But at the same time, I’m human. God created us in a way that we should not be single forever. We all have a wanting to find that person to connect with no matter how close we are to God.

And the list could go on and on. There are something things, as a single person, I would like to hear but hardly do. How about just be yourself? Or, the right guy will love you for you, just hang on, and don’t give up? Maybe, don’t settle with someone you know isn’t right just because you are lonely? Maybe, let me pray with you about this and let’s meet each week to discuss how things are going in your life? … Moving on. Here is a delightful little experience I did have with dating. I have a close friend who is a few years younger than me. When we were teenagers, she wanted to go on a date with one of her guy friends. The problem was, neither one was old enough to drive and they didn’t want their parents taking them (who would?). Guess who got to drive…yup you guessed right. Me. So, I took her and her guy friend on their first date ever, which was actually her first date ever. Talk about awkward. 😀

I grew up with loving parents who have been married for 50+ years. I go to a church filled with awesome examples of Christ-centered marriages. All of my friends are married, getting ready to marry, or dating someone they are planning on marrying. I’m not the prettiest, I’m not the skinniest, I’m not even the most out going. But I am me. I am a loyal, dependable, trustworthy, strong willed, hopeful, and praying single 30 year old female that has never been on an actual date. And I’m okay with that. Do I get lonely, sure. Do I wonder what’s wrong with me sometimes, sure. Will I ever be in a steady relationship, I hope so. Will I ever find that special guy to do this crazy thing called life with, I pray so. Do I give up hope, not gonna happen. Am I still a hopeless romantic, absolutely. Will I be single forever, I hope not but I will be content and joyful if that is how my life turns out, no matter what.  And no matter what, I will continue to pray for my self, my future husband, and my future family.

Advertisements

I write…a lot but I don’t always share it. Actually, I haven’t posted anything public on here since writing about Cole Sons. I just haven’t felt the need to. But tonight, for whatever reason, I think I shall. This post is just me ranting for a few minutes and it’s probably nothing anyone will be interested in but me a few years down the road. Although, if anyone has any insight about mercy, grace, forgiveness, or repentance please let me know. I don’t know a whole lot about anything and love to learn from those around me.

I’ve made all kinds of mistakes over the years. Some I’ve learned from, some I haven’t. Some I struggle with everyday, some sneak up on me and hit me up side the head so hard it takes me days to get them out of my head. I dwell on things more than I should. I let things worry me that are silly. Little things that happened years ago or just yesterday that everyone has forgotten but myself. Ask me about knee surgery, laser tag, or neon trees, go head, I dare ya! 🙂 But with all that said, I’m trying to learn to let things go.

The amazing things about grace and mercy are just that. Grace can be defined as the unmerited favor of God toward man and mercy as a kind or forgiving treatment of someone who could be treated harshly. God’s a big God and can do what ever he wants but he chooses to love and forgive me. He doesn’t need to, he wants to. I could write about those two things all night. So much could be said just on the premise of the two that I could get lost in it. Simply because it’s ok. We get confused. We lose our confidence. We feel beat down. We get to where we don’t know where to turn. We are not perfect. We mess up. We make mistakes. We fail. We sin. I am still trying to learn those things.

I want to focus (sorry I chased a rabbit up there) just for a few minutes about learning to let things go through forgiveness and repenting. There’s a difference between those two words and I struggle with it on a daily basis. Forgiveness is a decision of the will and can be defined as to wipe the slate clean, to pardon, to cancel a debt. Repenting, in biblical days meant ‘to change ones mind’, in today’s church world we hear it as turning from sin. I have always heard that forgiveness and repentance go together. You can’t have one without the other. The older I get, the more I understand that. Asking for forgiveness is easy. I do it daily. Okay maybe not daily but a lot more that I wish to count. But do I really mean it? Sure in my mind I do but my actions tend to run away from me and find myself back in my same old habits that I struggle with over and over. Sometimes, I get tired of the forgive and forget mentality. Sure, when Jesus forgives us initially (we become saved, a christian, a christ follower, however you wish to put it) he forgets our sins and removes them as far as the east is from the west. We decide to change our mind about how we feel/think/believe about faith. This is our first repentance. Not one we should take lightly and the most important decision we will ever make in our life. And not choosing is a choice. Growing in the christian faith isn’t just about forgiving and forgetting though…its about repenting and then forgiving. I have to be willing change my mind; rearrange the way my thoughts and actions go. Then, I can truly ask for forgiveness and receive it; not for salvation, but to strengthen my relationship with Jesus. God knows our heart. He knows we have a sinful nature, even if we are saved. I am so very thankful for this.

His love never fails. He never gives up on us. He does great wonders, made the heavens and the earth, made the great waters, and the great lights – the sun to govern the day. He made the night sky and all the stars. He lead the people out of the wilderness, remembers his people at their lowest state. He is the Alpha and Omega, always was and always will be. He’s my ever present help in all my times of need. He is.

Monday morning I was driving to work before the sun was completely awake yet. Throughout my 35 minute drive to a neighboring town, God grabbed a hold of my attention, along with my heart. Watching God’s painting take place that morning with the rising of the sun reminded me, no captured me, in a way I can’t describe with words. It was beautiful and I knew it was for me.  A little reminder that no matter what, even when we hurt, even when we don’t understand, even when we want to be mad at God, He is still there. He doesn’t change. He doesn’t waver. His grace is enough.

There are so many things I could say about Cole. He had such a big heart and left a bigger impact in this world than I think most people ever would have thought. He was willing to do anything, for anyone, for nothing. He taught me a lot in his young life. I’ll never forget when we went to New Orleans. You could pick Cole and Jacob out of any crowd with their camo shirts, boots, hats, and country accent.

After we ate at popyees in new orleans Jacob became my "best friend" because we both thought it was so funny we ate there.

After we ate at popyees in new orleans Jacob became my “best friend” because we both thought it was so funny we ate there.

No matter where Cole was in the world, he was himself. He didn’t try to be anything other than him. He didn’t care what people thought about his redneck ways even in the heart of New Orleans. He taught me to just be me. I remember picking you up from elementary school a few times and the conversations we had on the drive to your house. We talked about God and how you wanted to help one of your class mates one time because you weren’t sure she knew about God. You starting helping people at such a young age it made me reevaluate some of the things I was doing then. And you would tell me about the mischievous things you did to get your teacher to laugh. happy cole

One of those days you were wanting to go fishing sooooo bad, so off we went. He wanted to go to back behind the softball fields in town. I honestly didn’t think there was fish there and I told him that. He just gave me that big goofy grin and that look that said trust me. I laughed so hard but off we went. And guess what!?!? He actually caught a fish down there and yes, we had to take  a picture of it. I didn’t get a fish that day and didn’t until many years later. A few weeks ago actually. He made a promise to me all those years ago that some day he would help me catch a fish. And he kept it. He taught me that your yes means yes and your no means no. You keep your promises and do what you say. A few weeks ago Jessica, Brandon, and myself went out to Mr. Hansert’s pond in front of his house. We had been there a couple of hours and I had nothing, again.  Mr. Hansert and Cole were coming down the drive way from work and they asked if we were having any luck. Before Cole left, he made sure I had a fish. My every first fish. He took time out of his day to keep his promise and help me. Another thing I’ll never forget is the first time I saw you when I moved back from Kentucky. You gave me this huge Cole like hug and said “Look, I’m all grown up now and I can be still and quiet!” I used to make fun of him because he was always moving something. Always messing with something. Always talking. He couldn’t just sit. I just looked at him and smiled. Being busy is just part of who Cole was. I would have never changed that for the world. He was always trying to get me to eat his wild game and deer jerky. He was always willing to fix whatever was broke. He wasn’t perfect by any means, but he always apologized if he even thought he hurt someone. Always tried to make things right. Always laughing and always smiling. I can’t believe though, out of all the years I knew you, I don’t have a single picture of us together. I have story after story I could share about you Cole, like many of us, but there is one last thing I would like to share. Cole was always hugging people, always telling people he loved them. And just for you Cole, I am going to make a promise in your honor. I’m going to start doing that exact same thing.

Monday morning I realized, watching that painting of sun, that Cole’s legacy will live on. A few weeks from now, for many of us, life will be back to normal. But for his family, it will never be the same. He will always be in their hearts. Always be in their memories. Because of his actions here on earth, he has left a legacy;.One of caring, helping, fixing, and just being him. The Son will always shine, just like it did on Monday morning. Always paint a picture, always grab people’s attention when we least expect it.  I’m going to miss you Cole. I’m praying for your family. I don’t know what else to do.

cole shooting cole strawscole and jacobcole and jessica

Even If It Hurts

Posted: January 22, 2013 in Uncategorized

I have always admired people who knew exactly what they wanted and exactly how they were going to get it, but could dream a long the way. We all have those friends. The ones that plan, and execute; dream, and accomplish. They always seem to have their life together and never worry about a thing. I admire them simply because I am not one of them. On a short-term basis, I can be. If there is something I really want, and if it doesn’t take too long, I may stick with it. But for the most part, I’ve been living day-to-day. Benjamin Franklin once said that many people die at twenty-five and they aren’t buried until they are seventy-five. How true is this? I know there is more to this life I’m living, and I’m tired of it being all about me. So, with a new year, it’s time for a change. And there is no better time to start than the moment.

My relationship with Jesus has been pretty sketchy here lately, and I sure can tell. It’s time to get back into the word and stop going to church just because I know I am supposed to. Faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of God. Relationships don’t exist if there is no communication. God doesn’t move, we do. I’m done running. I’m done being hurt over past ministry experiences. Jesus didn’t extend grace to me so I could sit in the pew and do nothing. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for other people reaching out to me. It’s time for me to get back to reaching out to others. Today is the today to start again, to pick up my cross and to rekindle that relationship with a Savior that knew me before I was born, has a whole masterpiece of a life set before me while I only see a tiny corner, and never leaves me, nor forsakes me.

My relationship with people has been pretty sketchy as well. But I must say, in the last 22 days they have gotten much better. I haven’t put up much of an effort to strengthen my relationship with the few friends I do have and I sure haven’t made much of an effort to reach out to those I do not know this past year. I like the company of a few close friends, I always have. But I am very, some would say picky, I would say cautious  or shy about whom I let close.  I was tired of just getting hurt. Sometimes, you just have to let go and let God take care of some things in life. This is one of those things for me. I have laid this burden down and I have fully let go of it. I do not worry about this nearly as much as I used to because I have complete confidence that God gives and takes away. He knows what and who we need much more so than myself.

On another topic of relationships, I have come to a peace about being single. This past year was the first year it has ever bothered me. For a few months in there I did have a guy friend that I became very very close to. I loved at the end of the day, I had someone I could call on the phone and share my day with. I liked having the company on a day off. And I liked that my life was no longer just about me. It made me feel good that he wanted to talk about things in his life and wanted to share it with me. I enjoyed having someone to go to dinner with and catch a sunset or a movie. But if I knew that it would end the way that it did, I never would have taken that first step. I never would have responded to that first move. I would have done what I have done my whole life and that was to step back from the friendship because someone was getting to close to me. Or actually, I was getting to close to someone and that meant vulnerability. I would take the friendship any day over what it is now, which is nothing. Seven years of a friendship gone over a silly few months. Looking back at it now, I think I was just filling a void. My relationship with Jesus wasn’t up to par and I needed acceptance from somewhere. God knows the desire of our hearts. Follow him, and he will give us those. Where ever my future husband is, and whatever he is doing, I’m praying for him. God can use me no matter what. I’m finished comparing my life to others. From now on, God will be my first response.

It’s a new year. It’s a new opportunity. When I am in line with the Savior, everything else seems to have a way of working itself out. I’m ready for God to break me, mold me, and use me in spite of myself. He doesn’t have to. I don’t deserve it. But there is this little thing called grace that he extends to us. A little chisel here, a little chisel there and walls begin to break. Grace extends to all. Take off that mask and let God chisel a little bit a time at those things that separate you from him. Even if it hurts.

26, single, and the church

Posted: September 2, 2012 in Uncategorized

There seems to be a big disengagement from with church with 20something crowd. I saw it happen when I was a teenager and I always thought it was rather strange. If you are truly a Christ follower, you want to, no want is not the right word, need to be in the church when the church is active. Now, as a 20something, I completely understand why this is goes on. It would be really easy for me to just ease out of the church and I truly am a Christ follower. I feel the need to be a church when the doors are open and active things are going on. There are, however, a few things that old me back from this. One, it is lonely. Two, my job doesn’t always permit it. Three, Jesus, please?

1. Church is lonely. As a 20something it can be hard to find a place to fit. If you look around most churches there are three categories of classes. Children, Youth, and Adults. And there are usually four categories of events. Children, youth, adults, and families. Now, there is nothing wrong with this, but where do I fit? Obviously, I’m not a child. I’m not a youth, although, if I had to choose this is where I would place myself on Wednesday nights due to lack of option. And while, yes, I do fit into the adult category, for some reason, most adults don’t see 20somethings as that, unless they are married. Each event has some kind of emphasis put on it. Kids, youth, adult men’s or women’s, and there is almost always a family deal. Its hard. I don’t want to be in a glorified youth group. My family is me. I attend a church where it is very easy to serve. I could slide into any event and I would feel loved, but I don’t always feel I fit. Sitting in the mist of a family event makes me realize what I don’t have. Adults asking why I’m single doesn’t help. Women treating me like a young-in makes me wonder. Church is lonely.

2. While in college, and even after, 20somethings work jobs that do not always fit into the tradition church schedule. This is not by choice, but by lack of option. If it was up to me I would work at a place where I could be at church every Sunday morning and every Sunday night, and every Wednesday night. But we don’t. Along with that, our jobs are usually not the best paying. Putting two and two together (that makes four), we work ALL the time and get paid hardly anything at all. I want to be at church. I feel like there is a void in my life when I can not attend. Sunday morning isn’t always an option. One thing I do love about the generation I live in is that no matter where I am, I can jump on the internet or download a podcast and boom. I can have church with me and Jesus, and the speaker.

3. Feel good preaching is okay. We all need it sometimes and it has its place in the world of ministry. Can we have something a bit more in-depth to go along with it please? We know the ten commandments, we know John 3:16, and we know the ABC’s. After learning the things, can we please put them into practice? I’ll be the first to admit that I really not sure how to make this happen but I think Todd Agnew summed it up pretty well in his song , My Jesus. “Not a poster child for American prosperity, but like my Jesus; You see I’m tired of living for success and popularity; I want to be like my Jesus but I’m not sure what that means to be like You Jesus; Cause You said to live like You, love like You but then You died for me; Can I be like You Jesus?; I want to be like you Jesus!; I want to be like my Jesus!”

The rest of that song is good as well and I would encourage you to check it out.

 

Bucket List

Posted: August 8, 2012 in Uncategorized

A friend of mine and myself were talking the other night about all the things we wanted to do and about her bucket list. I am always saying “hey let’s go do this” and end up changing the subject and then I am unable to remember what “this” is, so my real bucket list has begun. they are in no particular order, maybe someday I will organize it. The ones with a line thru I have completed. Some of these have already been claimed by other people and want to share in the experience with me. If you see something you want to do, let me know.

1. Color a coloring book all the way through without tearing out any pages December 17th, 2012

2. Travel over seas

3. Run a marathon (or a 5k..i would settle for just a 5k!)

4. Participate in a cycling race

5. Be a mentor

6. Go Skydiving

7. Make a difference in someone’s life

8. See a sunrise…not just look at it, but really see it. There is a difference.

9. See a sunset…not just look at it, but really see it. There is a difference.  Sept. 25th 2012

10. Write a book

11. Fly in a hot air balloon

12. Fall in love

13. Fly a kite

14. Catch a fish July 2013

15. Catch another fish with someone else

16. Attend the March of the Nations at the Olympics

17. Learn how to take  and give a compliment

18. Trust

19. Overcome my fear of failure

20. See the Grand Cannon

21. Get and STAY in shape

22. Visit the Holy Land

23. Have a child

24. Maybe adopt a child

25. See the Statue of Liberty

26. Snorkel

27. Scuba dive

28. Whitewater raft 2004ish, 2006ish

29. See Niagara Falls   1999ish

30. Zipline

31. Ride the Trans-Siberian Train

32. See the Trans-Siberian Orchestra live

33. Get married

34. Have friendships that mean something and not just acquaintances (I think I can cross this one out but I’ll leave it just to remind myself that there is more to life than hi and bye)

35. Graduate college  2008

36. Get a master’s

37. Have a career and not just a job

38. Be more like Jesus

39. Realize my life is not about me, it’s all about Him.

40. Lead someone to Jesus … lead others to Jesus

41. Disciple those after they have started a relationship with Jesus

42. Read all the books on my to read list

43. Own all of the Mighty Ducks Movies Sept 27th 2012

44. Learn something  hands on  from both of my parents that I can pass on to my children

45. Road trip, by myself or a with a few close friends

46. Do things for people  knowing that there is no way the person can repay me

47. Make sure people know how much I care before I share how much I know (or don’t know).

48. Live a life of missions

49. Be able to walk into a room with a piano and play it with  no music

50. Own a house

51. Own a Jeep Wrangler

52. Have a great dane

53. Eat at IHOP with my friends in Knoxville…without children

54. Meet Jonathan (My friends little boy…ask me about the story)

55. See a meteor shower

56. See a shooting star

57. Visit and maybe live in Denver, or some place in CO

58. Be in one of  my best friends wedding

59. Be positive

60. Ride a roller coaster 2002ish

61. Get a tattoo

62. See a feature film in a theater in 3D

63. Get into phlebotomy school May 1, 2013

64. Be in two places at once

65. Get over my fear of the dark

66. Get over my fear of thunderstorms

67. Take a trip on a motorcycle

68.  Visit New York City during Christmas

69. Go to carlo’s bake shop

70. Visit the San Diego Zoo

71. Inner tubing tour through the canals and tunnels of an old sugar plantation in Hawaii

72. See the Northern Lights

73. See the lights at Rock City

74. Have someone special to celebrate new years with and have that 12 oclock kiss

75. “Kiddnap” a dog and give it a new home Juneish 2013

New Orleans, Louisiana

Posted: July 26, 2012 in Uncategorized

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”  Ephesians 4:32

What a focal verse to use for a mission trip. Usually you would have some more along the lines of Acts 1:8, or Matthew 28: 19, or even Isaiah 6:8. But how fitting Ephesians 4:32 was for the people group we were working with.

I had never been to New Orleans before so I wasn’t really sure what to expect. I’ve always heard it is a city that comes to life at night and an area of the nation in such need (even before Katrina). Without ever being there, I didn’t fully understand what either of those statements meant. As soon as I got there both of them became completely transparent to myself. It is a city rich in history, a diversity of cultural, and a look of loneliness in the eyes of so many.

When we walked up to New Orleans Mission (where we would be staying and working), it was just like something you would see out of a news feed or off of a t.v. show. Across the street there was an overpass, or bridge from the interstate that seemed to go on forever. Under that bridge as far as you could see there were homeless people’s “living” areas. People laying on old, stinky mattresses. Others sitting on cardboard, holding on tightly to the few things they did own. Trash all over the place. Beat up raggedy cloths and shoes that reeked of alcohol and bodily fluids. Young, old, male, and female alike. Sitting in front of the mission doors there were people waiting until they could get in. And off the bus steps 16 white, small town, country folks from Tennessee dragging suitcases, pillows, and backpacks with I’m sure a look of shock, terror, confusion,and eagerness all wrapped into one mixed up face. I wondered for a brief moment what they thought about us. I wondered if they were judging us the way we were judging them. (And if you say you had no judgmental thoughts run across your mind when the site first appeared around the corner I would seriously suggest taking a look into your self again. It is extremely hard not to unless you are around something like that 24/7.)

I really didn’t think that the homeless would want much to do with us. And at first, that is exactly the way it was. Our first task was to sweep and pick up trash under the bridge. The first people who talked to us told us that we were just wasting our time. Another told us to go away. But we kept on working. After a little time we became more comfortable with the situation and they did too. Conversations began to take form and the atmosphere seem to be a bit brighter. Most of the street people we talked with were very open in sharing their stories with us. A few were homeless by choice, but the majority by circumstance. We cleaned up outside until lunch time. After lunch we split up into groups doing what I know some saw as busy, physical work. Working in the garden, cutting grass, cleaning bathrooms, moving furniture, and throwing away nasty stinky trash. To us, yes, the task was to clean a bathroom. To them, it is so much more. By doing this, it helps those they serve see that they care. By showing them they care, they are able to share with them what they know, the love of Christ. With only one day to do actual physical work, we got a LOT of stuff done.

But I think as a whole, we missed it. We missed the “mission”. The mission didn’t start the day we worked. The mission started as soon as we got on the first van headed to the bus. “Be kind to one another…even as Christ did”. People are lonely. They want someone to share their life with. We live in  a society with all kinds of technology, all kinds of activity, and all kinds of things to keep busy, but we have no idea how to be kind. We have no idea how to be caring. We have no clue how to share. On the first bus people just poured out their life story to each person that we sat next to. That amazes me. We had no clue who anyone ones, yet they talked about very personable things going on in their life. This gave us an opportunity to share God’s love. We cleaned up under a bridge and people talked with us, again, about very personable things. If we would just look around, God is at work everywhere. Being on mission isn’t a trip, it isn’t a task. It is about being all things, to all people, to order to reach just one. It is a way of life. I personally had forgotten that. This trip refocused the way I think.

There is so much more I could share but here is just one more thing that caught my eye. We were able to go to the worship service with the mission. One of their rules for the homeless was in order to eat, you had to come to worship. So we joined in with 200+ homeless and worshiped. And this was a great reminder to myself. One lady sang her heart out and there was just a realness to it. She has every reason in the world to be mad at God. She has absolutely nothing and no one yet, she praised God with everything she had, her heart. What if we all did that? What if we all looked beyond what we have or don’t have, beyond the psychical and really into the heart of worship?

Ask me about the church in front of Jackson Square.