Archive for January, 2011

Transparency is Lacking

Posted: January 6, 2011 in Uncategorized

Do we really love God?

“Most of us know that we are supposed to love and fear God; that we are supposed to read our Bibles and pray so that e can get to know Him better; that we are supposed to worship Him with our lives. But actually living it out is challenging. It confuses us when loving God is hard. Shouldn’t it be easy to love a God so wonderful? When we love God because we feel we should love Him, instead of genuinely loving out of our true selves, we have forgotten who God really is. “Francis Chan

Maybe that’s an odd statement for someone like me to say, do we really love God, but I’m not so sure it is. In the church today something is missing or lacking should I say (I’m not trying to bash the church, just sorting things out in my mind if you will.). In part, I do believe transparency may be one of those things and I am going to use my life as an example.

My life. Easy compared to most, yes; hard compared to others, sure. But why? Do I make it that way on purpose or is this just how it is for all? In my 24 years of existence I have learned a lot, lived a lot, grown a lot, hurt a lot, loved a lot, and lied a lot.  My relationships with people have been intertwined in a way only a God with a master plan could do. They have been deep and shallow, helpful and unconstructive, and molding and shaping. My relationship with God has been personal, scary, unimaginable, always changing,  up and down, and always, yes always, hopeful. I go to church when I know I’m supposed to; even sometimes for something a little extra. I throw money in the plate every now and then. I smile. I pray out loud sometimes. I ask people how they are.  And I forget. I forget that loving God doesn’t mean pleasing people. I forget that loving God isn’t about stuff. I forget that loving God isn’t singing (or not singing) a song.  Loving God is personal. And from that personal love relationship flows all that other stuff. We do those things because we love him. We don’t do those things to love Him, or so He will love us. It doesn’t work that way. He already loves us. He doesn’t forget that. God doesn’t want a relationship with us that just fits in at certain time. He created the world so we could love Him with all that we have, with all of our heart, with all of our time. He is bigger than a  “lets make time for God now” relationship. He shouldn’t be compartmentalized.  He loves us with all He had, why don’t we love Him back?

Here is where my lacking transparency comes into play. Because I forget what loving God really means I get scared. Yup I said it. I’m scared. I worry what others think. I try to make others happy. I hardly ever let anyone close. When I let people close I’m afraid I’ll get hurt. When people are close they see how you “really are”. They might figure out I’m just like everyone else and I forget how to love God. I may let someone down and I don’t like doing that even though it is a fact of life.  I am worried that I will mess things up. I try to stay away from all the “bad things” and usually fail. Then I feel distant from God and everything starts all over. I realize I’m doing it all wrong I’m human. Just because I walk into a church that doesn’t mean I don’t hurt, or get sad, or I have my life figured out, or I don’t wonder and wander, or I don’t question things. And all those things apply to you too! What if we walked into the church with a broader since of who God was, is and will be. What if we were honest about who we are. What if we really did confess our sins to one another and pray for one another and hold each other accountable?

We are too busy hiding who we are. Loving God isn’t about the clothes we wear, it’s not about the car we drive, it’s not about the house we live in, it’s  not our job, it’s not about who are friends are or are not, and it’s not even about if your momma or daddy went to church. It’s not about events or programming. It’s not about which church we go to or all the letters after our name.

It’s simple.

Be transparent. Be real. God loved you already. He was real. He walked, talked, lived, died, and rose because He was transparent. He is love.  He loved with all His heart. When’s the last time you loved God like he loves you?